So there I was, lying in a “sensory awareness” pod, floating in dense salt water. For the first 10 minutes, there is light and the sound of waves. Then darkness, and only the sound of my own breath and heartbeat.

The float was featured at a speaker retreat with the goal of emerging with clarity, peace and new ideas. The pressure was on. Could I shut my mind off for an hour in hopes of creating something really unique and original? For the first few minutes in the tank I was a bit freaked out, then calm…until the lights went out and them my mind went on overdrive:

What am I going to make for dinner? Stop that. Did I pack the kids’ snacks? Relax. I have an itch near my eye. Will I get salt in it if I dare touch it? Just breathe. Why do the Mavericks always lose in overtime? Focus! Dang, what time is it?

Rejoining the group was so disappointing. While my colleagues fiercely scribbled brainstorms, no new ideas surfaced for me and I sat sadly in front of a blank paper. Finally, I wrote the word “MOMENT.” Then I wrote, “not many moments for mom.” Hey, MOM is the first three letters in MOMent! Then, in the middle of moment, I saw ME!

There it was! We all need to put more ME into our moments. In thinking back, I had a whole bunch of ME time in the float tank, and I couldn’t relax. I couldn’t focus on my breathing. I couldn’t clear my head. The environment was perfect, yet I didn’t know how to begin. Scheduling “me” doesn’t come naturally for many of us, but hey it’s 2013. Come on, let’s go for it!

DEPRIVE your mind of all your crazy stimuli. Can you apply brain brakes? Stop dwelling on the past. Stop obsessing over what is next. Stop blaming. Stop checking Facebook (tough!) Step out of the Twitterverse. Quit scheduling. Stop everything except what’s going on here and now. For a moment…just be.

STRIVE to be MINDLESS. Of course you’re soooo busy! What can calm your brain? Yoga? Meditation? Quiet time? Add something different to your “To-Do” list- time for you! Mark your calendar for mind-free time.

REVIVE + THRIVE! Now that you’ve cleared the decks of your mind, what next? Enjoy your fresh focus! Did you get new ideas? Did clearing chatter help you hear anything new? Put your new energy into things that help make your MoJo flow. Then, for cripes sakes, schedule more of those things! Who says you can’t plan time each day just for you…don’t you deserve it? Listen to the sound of your own breath and heartbeat. You may be surprised at what you hear.

Tis the season to be stressing…fa la la la BLAH! Between placing holiday decor, creating the perfect Christmas atmosphere, gifts for all, clever cards and finding a new place for Elf on a Shelf, many of us find this most wonderful time of year overwhelming. Getting the pre-lit tree to light seems impossible, yet there are those who have time to synchronize their outdoor lights to Gangnam Style!

Wait! Don’t let this harried season pass you by without taking time to enjoy life. Many of us bring on our own stress scenario. Do you need some helpful holiday ideas?  Here we go…

GOOD STUFF TIPS FOR A TRULY MERRY CHRISTMAS

• Feel free to skip the Christmas Newsletter. We know your kids are the smartest and cutest. We also know where you have been on vacation. Don’t you know I follow you on Facebook?

• Send a Happy New Year card in January if you can’t get it together now.

• Wear and repeat. Yes you can wear the same sequin scarf you wore last year. No one will remember. Take the money you’d have spent on new holiday bling and drive your contribution down to the homeless shelter. It will be far more meaningful.

• Deck your halls with less. Putting up fewer decorations means less time putting them away. Twinkle lights go a long way to brighten a room.

• Instead of worrying about what to give people in your life who have everything already, adopt a needy family.

• Store bought cookies can be very tasty.

• Give gifts of time and skills instead of things – cut your neighbor’s grass for a month, take your brother’s kids for the weekend.

• Skip mall madness.Try online shopping! You’ve gotta love free shipping and gift-wrapping.

• When people ask if you are “ready for the holidays,” say yes and smile. What does “ready” mean anyway?

Don’t drive yourself crazy trying to do everything. Just make a few simple changes to welcome the season. Enjoy the lights. Go hear carolers at the park. Drink hot cocoa-spike if you like. But most importantly, take the time to enjoy the people you love this Holiday season! Cheers!

When people think about humor, it usually relates to telling jokes, or situations where you double over in laughter. To me it’s more than that – it’s about having (and making) fun in the ordinary and often dull routines in everyday life.

For example, after dropping the kids off at school, I dread coming home to the disaster in my kitchen. Often times while cleaning up breakfast dishes and lunch prep chaos, our chocolate lab will plop down nearby with a heavy sigh.

In my effort to put off re-combobulating the kitchen for as long as possible, I call his name – Murphy – and then I hide behind the counter. When he scrambles to his feet, a chase around the center island ensues. Yes, I play Hide & Seek with my dog. Don’t judge me. It’s great fun and gets the blood flowing — for both of us.

Another fave in our family is the “Restaurant Name-Game.” Last week, I took my son on a lunch date to one of our favorite places, Which Wich. You build your own sandwich, turn in your order and write your name on the bottom of the bag. For kicks, we always put random names, like “Dude,” “Happy,” or “Tired Puppy” (that one would be mine). It is always a kick when the young employee yells out in a bland voice, “I have a turkey for… Tired Puppy.”

This can also backfire. My brother and his wife were going out for dinner and made reservations at their favorite restaurant. Also a goofball, he made the reservation using the name “Hungry,” and mentioned this was a special evening. At the end of their evening, the restaurant brought them a complimentary dessert with (in chocolate writing), “Happy Anniversary Mr. and Mrs. Hungry!”

How can you add fun to your daily routine? One thing is for certain – humor makes memories. Figure out ways to make the mundane into something memorable. Get out there and use humor to make the ordinary extraordinary!

On our car trip in Michigan this summer, it wasn’t long before the kids started asking the universal car question --”Are we there yet??”

Knowing we still had a long way to go, I had to quash this line of questioning straight away. “Yes, we are exactly where we need to be.” This bought us a little bit of silence as they tried to figure out what I was saying. That was my answer the next time as well. They stopped asking.

As annoying as Are we there yet? is when my kids ask it again and again, I’ve found that many adults ask that question throughout their lives. Am I there yet? I will be there when I graduate from college, get a job, get married, have kids, when kids move out, change jobs, make X number of dollars, retire, etc. So many of us wait for a certain event to happen before we believe we’ll reach our destination of happiness and contentment.

Stop.

You are exactly where you need to be. If you don’t like where you are now, think like a GPS: recalculate and change direction. But whatever you do, take time to enjoy the journey. You’ve probably heard the saying, Wherever you go…there you are. And you are. Enjoy.

We’re on the expressway. We’ve been following a truck for some time and the HOW’S MY DRIVING? sign keeps staring back at me. I remark to my son, “Thank goodness mommy doesn’t have a sign on her car asking people to call about her driving!” He seemed happy about that too, much to my chagrin.

So what happens when you call that phone number? Have you ever wondered? Have you ever called? Are you getting ahead of me here? Oh yes, I had to do it.

“Thank you for calling our dedicated safety driving hotline. Please leave the number of the truck, your location and the incident.” Incident?

“Umm…Hi, my name is Christine and I am on Interstate 35 near Hebron Parkway and truck number 364 is driving great! He is maintaining the speed limit, making safe lane changes and using his turn signal. How’s his driving you ask? Excellent!” I even left my name and number so they wouldn’t think it was a prank.

We live in such a “Gotcha” world, constantly looking for things to go wrong. When you have your “Gotcha Goggles” on, you will see plenty of infractions. Try putting on “Grateful Glasses” for a change.

A great tip from my book, “The Good Stuff,” is to take the “Ten Coin Challenge.”  When you get dressed, put 10 coins in your left pocket and begin your day looking for something good to comment on. I know!  This may be difficult, but do it anyway.

Tell your partner how much you appreciated finding the newspaper on the kitchen table. Thank your kids for getting themselves up on time. Now here’s the change part…each time you appreciate someone, move a coin from your left pocket to your right. Please be subtle so no one knows what you are doing.

By the end of the day, you should have all the coins in your right pocket. Full coin transfer may not happen every day, but if you get in the habit of looking through your Grateful Glasses, you’ll definitely notice your attitude and attitudes of those around you shifting — in a positive way. When you look for the good, you will find it more often.

Right now, I’m grateful that I don’t have a sign on my car with a phone number asking about my driving!

I want to tell you about Don, a truly wonderful guy. A great example of his wonderfulness (if that isn’t a word, it should be) was the time he, his wife and his mother-in-law were coming home from an overseas trip. He dropped them off curbside at the departure terminal and went on to return the rental car. It was uber early and the place was still closed, so he threw the keys in the slot, left the car in the appointed spot, and shuttled back to the terminal.

The moment he stepped off the shuttle he realized that the luggage was still in the trunk of the car. Without making a fuss, he sent his wife and MIL on the original flight and bought a ticket on a much later flight so he could wait for the car rental place to open and fetch everyone’s luggage. This was typical Don. No matter what happened, he always took it with great humor and sweet spirit.

So Don just happens to be my father-in-law and he’s on my mind today (again) because he passed away last week – suddenly and unexpectedly. Which has made me think long and hard….Did he know how much I loved him? Did he know how I’d so love to have his patience and kind spirit? (I heard him yell once in 15 years – at his dog. I yell at my kids and our danged dog 10x a day!) Does he know that I’m going to teach my kids –his grandchildren — to be just like him?

Think about it. Do the people closest to you truly know how much you appreciate them? Are there any “wrongs” between you and a family member or close friend that you need to make right? If something were to happen to that person today, would you be at peace?

Don was a leader, volunteer and mentor in his community for over 50 years. A few weeks ago he and my mother-in-law came to visit. We created wonderful memories and I told him I loved him. Did he really understand how much? Did he know that I loved him as much as I loved my own father? Does he realize how much we will miss him? I hope so. I think so. I know so.

Pick up the phone today. Make time for those you love. Say you’re sorry. And don’t be shy with the “I love yous.”  It is not too late to appreciate. Rest in Peace, Papa Don.

Don Cashen

(1936-2012)

I may be a perky motivational speaker on stage, but at home in the morning, I am a hard-core drill sergeant. After my sing song “get-out-of-bed-sleepy-head” routine, it is GO TIME.

Typically, I bark orders at my elementary school babes, push blueberries, search for papers I need to sign, throw together lunches and try to tame my daughter’s wild lion’s mane (anyone have ideas for curly hair care?).

It doesn’t get much better when we hit the road. We take the “back way” to school which is crazy because everyone else does too. It’s a perilous obstacle course – dodging parked cars, observing annoying driving etiquette rules (you go first, no you go first, no you, wave, smile, repeat), while simultaneously quizzing my son on his spelling words.

Then I see HIM.

Mr. Alton (cue singing angels). He is the crossing guard behind our school.

Looking like a  handsome skinny Santa, he smiles broadly and greets all the kids. Yelling, “Hey, I sure do like those socks!” and “I’m so glad to see you this morning!”

On Fridays he high fives everyone and exhorts, “Get excited for a great day!”

Purposely, I slow down to catch his eye so I can wave and catch some of his morning happiness. Just the sight of Mr. Alton brings a smile to my face and to all who encounter him.

And just like that, I AM ready for a great day. How did he do that?

It occurred to me that Mr. Alton is the keeper of what I like to call the ‘Good Mood Commitment,’ except he takes it one step further. The Good Mood Commitment is when you tell yourself that you are in a good mood for the first 2 hours of the day. When time is up, you are in an authentic good mood. Not only does Mr. Alton say it, he acts like it too and at the end of his shift, he is in full bloom goodness. And fortunately for me and for all those he encounters, his good mood and positive attitude are wonderfully contagious.

It makes me wonder — how do people feel when they see me?  How does my greeting affect others? Am I the fountain or the drain? Good questions for us all to ask.

Thanks Mr. Alton, for all the great days!

Too Much Info?

As a motivational speaker, I try to be uplifting and inspirational. But it’s hard sometimes because people can be oblivious. Have you ever had someone corner you – someone you hardly know – and blather on, telling you his deepest, darkest. Clearly the expectation is that you’ll sit like a bobble-head doll, head bouncing up and down, and quietly listen. What?!

My mom called me the other day frustrated with a fellow golfer. She had become a victim of the OVERSHARE. “It was as if he was applying for a job. I know EVERYTHING about this man. He is a vet, has a purple heart, does 100 sit-ups every night and lost his wife last year.” Between golf shots he would come over to her cart and give her another piece of “this is my life.” She started to hit the ball to opposite sides of the fairway to get some peace and quiet.

Not only is oversharing uncomfortable, it is frustrating because it usually leads to under-listening, eye-rolling and that urge to blurt out, “Don’t you wanna know ANYTHING about me?!”

But TMIers never ask reciprocal questions. Have you ever had this happen? While minding your own business waiting at the doctor’s office, you say hello to someone and what she hears is, “Let me tell you why I am here!” After a long diatribe, the person then sits back, puts her head in a magazine and leaves you dumbfounded. I recently had a grocery store clerk comment on my cart contents and then tell me about her lazy husband. Cue the awkward silence.

What to do?

It is tough because people mistake oversharing as a shortcut to bonding. Know this… typically oversharing is not a way to instant intimacy. Rather, it’s simply inappropriate self-indulgence. You may have experienced this in person or have seen it online.

Consider:

• The Honest Reply: Wow, that is a lot of personal information, and I’m not sure how to respond.
• The Empathetic Switch: That’s too bad. Can you believe how quickly February is going by?
• The Block: For online repeat TMI offenders, you can always block their posts (they won’t know) or in extreme cases, hit the “unfriend” button.
• The Mirror:  Make sure you are not the perp. Whether in person or on social media, TMI is just that…TOO MUCH INFORMATION and trust me when I say, no one wants to hear about your sinus infection, sex life (okay, maybe)  or see a picture of your ingrown toenail (excuse me while I vomit).

So try to keep this in mind. Venting can be healthy – within reason. Consider words like dialogue and conversation (this happens when multiple parties participate in an interchange). Remember that saying too much or the wrong things can undermine your relationships, career and business. So beware of the overshare, and when in doubt, leave it out. Oops, did I say too much?

Have you ever left your house, happily arrived at your destination, only to have that “where the heck is my phone” panic scramble? This includes, but is not limited to: patting down pockets, reaching into bags, completely dumping said bags, searching under car seat. All the while your eyes are darting around, frozen in time, hoping that a flash will hit, reminding you of your last phone encounter.

Last week I had that panic scramble while out running errands. The unthinkable had occurred: I left my phone at home. Breathing slowly, I told myself that I was only running a few errands. What could go wrong? I reassured myself that I’d soon be reunited with my phone.

While sitting at a red light, I wanted to check my e-mail. Wow, I’m bored. Sheesssh, another red light…where is my blasted phone? Geez, I may look at my phone while driving more than I think. At the UPS store, I waited, wishing I could see what was happening on Twitter. I see a greeting card stand with the usual categories: Birthday, Get Well, Anniversary… wait…what is this? Almost Funny cards? Love it! Wish I could take a picture of it… bummer… I forgot my phone. Should I be somewhere? My phone usually alerts me with an alarm for any appointments or conference calls. Dear Lord, I hope the school doesn’t call due to a sick or hurt kid. Irrational fear takes over. I had better cut my errands short and get back home.

Ya know… this smart phone is amazing. But It hits me – I am an ADDICT. Thinking that this could be a blog post, I look for my phone to write a note. Dang. Maybe I can leave myself a voice mail message. Duh, no.

Upon returning home, I see my lonely phone on the counter. I run to it like a long lost lover. As I pick it up, a wave of relief comes over me. This is a problem. I should be able to function without my phone, right? Something needs to be done. So, thinking there may be others with an affliction similar to my own, I developed this 8 step program. If you know someone who may be in need, feel free to pass it on:

8 Steps to Overcoming iAddiction:

1. Admit you have a problem (isn’t that always number one?)
2. Break up your day with “Tech Time Outs.” Get off the grid and be free.
3. Silence your phone when working on an important task.
4. Engage with people, making the conversation a priority (not the phone).
5. Safety first when driving. Phones truly are a dangerous distraction.
6. Declare to the masses when out socially that you are putting away your phone. Then stick to it.
7. Wait and watch. Use the down time to observe and be in the moment.
8. Trust that it is okay to just “be” rather than always having to have something to “do.

Start slow and see what transpires. Without my face in my phone at the UPS Store, I became aware of a man lugging big boxes and was able to run to the door and help. Having a phone-free drive gives you time to think – and is the right thing to do. Waiting in lines sans phone will give you an opportunity to connect with people (what a concept!). I mean, what did we do before smart phones? That’s right – we survived.

And yes, I did go back to UPS and take that photo.

After many years of sticking plastic lenses in my eyes, I developed an allergy to my contacts. Can you say, “Owieeeee??!?” Lasik always sounded like the way to go, but fear always got the best of me. No longer able to wear contacts, I researched doctors, did the whole pre-screen thing, and had the surgery DONE (really!) within a week (I knew that waiting and thinking about it would mess with my head.)

So here I am a few weeks later, seeing better than ever and wondering why I didn’t do this sooner. When I squint my right eye, I can hear the famous Steve Austin, “do-do-do-do-do” (bionic eye sound effect).

The whole experience got me thinking about how fear holds us back. Some guru once said that the acronym for fear is False Evidence Appearing Real. I don’t know about that… having a laser beam drill into my eyes is real…scary… real scary. But, I had to deal and move forward – because I was forced to make the change.

How often do we have blurred vision without knowing it? We begin to believe that the blur is normal and live with it. It usually isn’t until we get out of the situation that we see things more clearly. Why didn’t I leave that job earlier?  Why didn’t I get out of that relationship sooner? Why didn’t I get Lasik a long time ago? Are you seeing things clearly right now? What is holding you back?  Fear? Lack of money?  Confidence? Why does some change have to be forced upon us for us to realize it is what we wanted all along?

Here’s How to Get New Eyes for the New Year (without surgery):

Positive Future Focus

Ask yourself, “What is possible?” and play only to the positive. Too often, we focus only on the negative outcomes. What if I ask for a raise, and I get it?  What if I tell my spouse I need him home from work every day at 6:30, so we can eat together as a family, and he agrees?!

Risk it

If you are risk adverse, try chanting, “Ohhhhh what the heckkkk, gooooo for it anywayyyyy.” You will never know the outcome until you try. If it doesn’t work, at least you can move in another direction.

Forget New Year’s Resolutions

Making goals once a year?  Forgettaboutit! It is easy to get down on yourself the very first week. Most people give up by March. “Oh well, there’s always next year.”  What? Even if you blew it, you can still do it! Reset your thinking at the beginning of every month. Yell, “Happy New Month,” and refocus your efforts. Are you really wanting to rock your resolutions? Yell, “Happy New Week,” and start off Mondays with a bang rather than a sputter. Truly, every day is a new start. Right now I can hear Scarlett O’Hara saying, “After all… tomorrow is another day!” and she is right.

Think it and Ink it

Write down what you want to accomplish and keep it in front of your eyes. This will help you set your internal GPS. It is certainly easier to get to your destination when you have a map. Especially, those of you who never ask for directions – you know who you are. Recalculating…

Partner Anyone?

Find an accountability partner who can keep you motivated and on task. A friend and I are on a health kick, and it is fun to check-in at night to see how we did. She offers great suggestions and also makes me feel better by sharing that she snuck some chocolate too.

So open your eyes this year and move toward what you want, while steering clear of what you don’t. Make a plan and don’t give up. We are all afraid…feel the fear and do it anyway. Have a clear vision, focus and let’s make 2012 a great year… starting today. Rock your resolutions! Do I hear that bionic eye sound effect?